Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Dear Father

An angry father is most cruel towards himself.” -Publilius Syrus
quotes

So many nights
I wished that life would be
Uncomplicated, just so simple
Between you and me

You wanted me to be like you
Even though like you was wrong
I learnt to choose the right way
And here I am writing this song

No matter the differences,
You will always be my dad
I can’t change my DNA
Which is Unfortunately very sad

I just wish you never
Ever pushed me away
I tried to be what you wanted
Until u decided to mislead the way

I can’t ever mend things between us
Or start a new bond
Because now you’re in the after life
And from my life forever gone

So this is my chance
To say what I always wanted
This is my chance
To speak my mind
This is my chance to tell you
You’ve lost something you’ll never find

#####################################

I just wanted you to be proud
That I was not like the others
And stood out in the crowd

I just wanted you to say you cared
That you noticed I stood up to you
When nobody else dared

I just wanted you to think of me as your son
Not your enemy or your competition
And to take back all things you’ve done

I just wanted you to tell me you loved me
And not think it was gay
I just wanted a hug from you
On my 10th birthday

I wanted you to ask me what about my grades
FYI, they were A’s
I didn’t need no special aid

I just wanted you to be like everyone else’s dad
Go out together, bond
Not fear that you’re mad

I wanted you to be there to support me in my sport
Not leave the arena,
When my upper hook was short

I needed you to be there for me
The first time my heart was broke
& tell me to suck it up
And that love was just a joke

I wanted you to respect my mother
Coz I love her to death
You wouldn’t let me talk to my brother
That itself took my breath

##################################

I look in the mirror and I don’t like
The face staring back at me
It’s not right
Why do I have to have your eyes
Your smile, your size

Even if I said I am no way like you
I am wrong
Coz I am scared
Because I see in a lot of ways
How I am just like you

There are so many things I do like you
Like organizing the toolbox according to the screws
say I’m fine, when I’m suffering
Or how my fav color is also blue

I also don’t look in the mirror when I wear my tie
The smell of gasoline gives me high

I too sleep with the bathroom light on
and wake up by the crack of dawn

I get my stubbornness from you
And have a strong point of view

I like to read every Sunday afternoon
& I can’t memorize the lyrics to a tune

My fighting style is just like yours
Watched your boxing videos
You fought with all fours

Left right jab jab upper hook
That’s the formula I used
And I didn’t learn it from any book

################################

The difference between us
Is that I know right from wrong
And from everything you put me through
I still emerged strong

I have my mama’s heart
And my grand mama’s soul
Every time you knocked me down
I got back up and stood tall

I have my mama’s manners
And I’m really proud
Call me a mama’s boy
Don’t care anymore

I see her as a hero
for the thing she went through
How you hurt her everyday
Coz u a drinking fool

I guess I can say thank you now
Coz you’ve left the world
Il make sure never allow
History to make a turn

You said God would never save me
& that you would watch me die
Well look here father,
I don’t even regret not saying goodbye

I am still who I am
I am not you
I might talk like you
And look like you
But other than that
I’m better than you

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Another tear drops

“The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my heart?”


The walk of shame
Long and dark
The cry of pain
Piercing and vague
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
But you are the culprit
…….
Yes that’s what they say….
…….
The silence deafens
And another tear drops


The face of truth
Hidden and formless
The eyes of lies
Strong and lucid
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
But you are the culprit
…….
Yes you are…
……..
The silence deafens
And another tear drops


The words of anger
Raw and honest
The shape of wounds
Fresh and plump
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
No I am not the culprit
…….
No I am not the perpetrator
…….
The silence deafens
And another tear drops


The nature of pride
Conceit and arrogant
The components of a man
Proud and pompous
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
No I am not the culprit
.......
I am not the mistake…
…..
The silence deafens
And another tear drops

The tear of an eye
Single and alone
The dawn of reality
Close and consuming
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
No I am not the reason
…….
No I am not the doer
…….
The silence deafens
And another tear drops


The peace of mind
Distant and unheard of
The happiness of souls
A stretch and fantasy
The hurt of a heart
Again and again
No I will not be hushed
…….
This is not what I deserve
…….
The silence deafens
And another tear drops

Promise The Same Lies

" A half truth is the most cowardly of lies"- Anonymous

They all compose the same melody
Write the same lyrics
Sing the same songs
Make the same noise
Then promise the same lies

They all draft the same words
Spell check the same lines
Create the same stories
Inscribe the same books
Then promise the same lies

They all impersonate the same role
Have parts in the same scene
Perform on the same stage
Star on the same screen
And still promise the same lies

They all whisper the same sounds
Mimic the same acts
Use the same scents
Have the same feel
And promise the same lies

They all shed the same tears
Hold back the same sniffle
Eyes the same red blood
Faces the same blank look
And still promise the same lies

They all force the same smile
Clone the same laugh
Exaggerate the same hug
Fake the same love
Then promise the same lies

They promise its forever
They promise this is it
They promise you the world
Then just leave you to it