Liar, Cheater and a Man with NO Character

Anger may be foolish and obsurd, and one may be irritated when in the wrong; but a man never feels outraged unless in some respect he is at bottom right."

I spent the longest nights loving you
Showing you my heart
I would have cut my life short
To give you a small part
But to you
I remain a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER

I stood by your side,
When your world walked away
I told you I’d love you
Every minute of every day
But in your eyes
I am a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER

I defended your honor,
When the whispers decided to speak
I put you above me in everything
I had you on a pedestal, at the peak
But you believe
I am a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER


I was the shoulder you cried on
The hand that wiped your tears
If you were down and alone
I fought away your fears,
But at the end of the day
I am still a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER

I leave it up to GOD to judge
My actions and my dealings
He will reward me in life or after
For the unjust that I am feeling
We will see in His eyes
If I am a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER

I believe everything happens
Not by chance but for a reason
If those where the actions of evil
Then I am a LIAR, CHEATER
AND A MAN WITH NO CHARACTER

Eternal Freedom

Its 8 am and I’m wrestling in bed with my pride
My heart is saying things my brain doesn’t understand
Logic fights with my emotions, and fear pins them both down
While lust watches them argue waiting for seductions’ command

She makes me battle with myself, her mere presences in my life
Her hot then cold then steaming then frozen love- confuses me!
She pulls me close, then pushes me far,
She chokes me then resuscitates my soul and heals my scars

And I am at war with myself against her demon heart
I yearn for her touch, seems like I’m hungry for the pain
I recognize she’s not good for me
Yet my legs are planted in the ground and my desire remains

5 months and the game still lingers
I give her all of me, some of me, none of me--- she does not alter
She makes my arrogance scream with loathing & anger
Yet my pursuit of her wickedness does not falter

My brain is blaring obscenities at me, disgusted!
Nothing makes sense anymore, it’s a delusion
My heart tries to explain but the phone rings ….
It’s her; she is calling me- excitement, nausea, relief, pain….confusion

The voices inside my head start talking ALL AT ONCE
My hand is shaking, trembling – PICK UP
Rage, uncertainty, conceit, repulsion—PICK UP
I turn around, it’s over, I’m done— NO YOU ARE NOT
I pick up!

Hello is all she needs to say to lure me back
I fail to remember her games and all the pain
I’m lost in her voice and the words she says
I forget that tomorrow she won’t be the same

ITS BEEN FUN--- Excuse me what did you say
My ears heat with bewilderment, I can see the smoke
Burn holes into my heart spelling out her name
I begin to ask why but my vocal chords choke

My brain is now landing blows at an already damaged heart
Numbness, queasiness, disappointment, disbelief
HANG UP—I listen to my head for the very first time
I gather all my hurt in one breath & then release

My heart is forever imprisoned for treason
& my brain now protects me from myself
Years later, l lay in bed at peace
I have found eternal Freedom

Pieces

"Nothing ends nicely, that's why it ends."- Tom Cruise

We hit the Wall at the crossroad…
There wasn’t even a path for us to choose…
Our worlds had to clash,
They had to crash!

At their highest speed, they travelled…
Revolving and Rolling,
Panting and Drooling,
Living the fantasy of merging into one…
The fantasy of uniting,
Smoothly uniting…

But just when they were about to…
They had to clash
They had to crash
They had to break, shatter, and smash!

As a piece on that barren ground,I cry….
I cry as I look for my other parts,And I wonder….
I wonder if I'll find a piece of you to touch,
To talk to,To ask… why?

We were so keen on our physical union,
On our shallow ecstasy,
On our sensual thoughts,
That when we were about to taste that dream…
To touch it and feel it,
To live it and grow within it,
We…..
became pieces, shattered pieces, scattered pieces!

Is that the injustice of fate?
Or is that just our well-deserved end?
To think about it…
We did get our thrust,
We did get our rush,Only that…
It wasn’t pleasingly rapturous
It was painfully crude…

That of a smacking reality,
Of a battering truth,
Of a raging power (above all the so-called mightiness of our worlds)…
That of a roaring, stern, tough Wall…
Crushing our corps back to their spiritual cores,
Redefining togetherness as a marriage of souls