Dear Father

“An angry father is most cruel towards himself.” -Publilius Syrus
quotes

So many nights
I wished that life would be
Uncomplicated, just so simple
Between you and me

You wanted me to be like you
Even though like you was wrong
I learnt to choose the right way
And here I am writing this song

No matter the differences,
You will always be my dad
I can’t change my DNA
Which is Unfortunately very sad

I just wish you never
Ever pushed me away
I tried to be what you wanted
Until u decided to mislead the way

I can’t ever mend things between us
Or start a new bond
Because now you’re in the after life
And from my life forever gone

So this is my chance
To say what I always wanted
This is my chance
To speak my mind
This is my chance to tell you
You’ve lost something you’ll never find

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I just wanted you to be proud
That I was not like the others
And stood out in the crowd

I just wanted you to say you cared
That you noticed I stood up to you
When nobody else dared

I just wanted you to think of me as your son
Not your enemy or your competition
And to take back all things you’ve done

I just wanted you to tell me you loved me
And not think it was gay
I just wanted a hug from you
On my 10th birthday

I wanted you to ask me what about my grades
FYI, they were A’s
I didn’t need no special aid

I just wanted you to be like everyone else’s dad
Go out together, bond
Not fear that you’re mad

I wanted you to be there to support me in my sport
Not leave the arena,
When my upper hook was short

I needed you to be there for me
The first time my heart was broke
& tell me to suck it up
And that love was just a joke

I wanted you to respect my mother
Coz I love her to death
You wouldn’t let me talk to my brother
That itself took my breath

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I look in the mirror and I don’t like
The face staring back at me
It’s not right
Why do I have to have your eyes
Your smile, your size

Even if I said I am no way like you
I am wrong
Coz I am scared
Because I see in a lot of ways
How I am just like you

There are so many things I do like you
Like organizing the toolbox according to the screws
say I’m fine, when I’m suffering
Or how my fav color is also blue

I also don’t look in the mirror when I wear my tie
The smell of gasoline gives me high

I too sleep with the bathroom light on
and wake up by the crack of dawn

I get my stubbornness from you
And have a strong point of view

I like to read every Sunday afternoon
& I can’t memorize the lyrics to a tune

My fighting style is just like yours
Watched your boxing videos
You fought with all fours

Left right jab jab upper hook
That’s the formula I used
And I didn’t learn it from any book

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The difference between us
Is that I know right from wrong
And from everything you put me through
I still emerged strong

I have my mama’s heart
And my grand mama’s soul
Every time you knocked me down
I got back up and stood tall

I have my mama’s manners
And I’m really proud
Call me a mama’s boy
Don’t care anymore

I see her as a hero
for the thing she went through
How you hurt her everyday
Coz u a drinking fool

I guess I can say thank you now
Coz you’ve left the world
Il make sure never allow
History to make a turn

You said God would never save me
& that you would watch me die
Well look here father,
I don’t even regret not saying goodbye

I am still who I am
I am not you
I might talk like you
And look like you
But other than that
I’m better than you