My Strong Beautiful Woman

I’ve been on this quest for love

And it has not been easy

I’m not looking for the impossible

Just a strong woman to please me

While I please her

And im not talking about the pleasing

That your dirty minds be feeling

But the pleasing of each of our beings

Where the oxygen she is breathing

Keeps me alive

And the world that I photograph

Through my fluttering eyes

Keeps her from going blind

And the power that she builds

From the ups and downs of life

Keep me in strength

Because she is my woman

My strong beautiful woman



My woman will not be less than a queen

Disguised as a natural born solider

Because contrary to common belief

Men do get weak

And that’s why she’s my independent woman

The provider to my soul

She feed me love and kindness

Protects our empire from the cold

-ness of the world that we live in

She is the joints that keeps my body

Standing up in the face of adversity

And the link from her mind to mine

To remind me when I’m far away from her love

In a different city

Fighting temptation in its different forms

That she is my woman

My strong beautiful woman



It takes a strong beautiful woman

To make a man like me feel complete

The kind of woman that can

Get me aroused by one simple kiss

Cause if I had to state the things I love about her

I’d have to sit here and write

A long list

Like how she is my equal

But submissive when the time is right

How she makes me forget about my day

When she wraps her arms around me at night

and

How she is the perfect combination

Of strong and gentle

Can’t last a day without her

And how our love is passionately mental

and

Like how it feels to be proud off her,

The accomplishments she has made

But what entices me

Are the scarifies she used as a mean to proclaim

Our love and the future she envisions

Her name, my last,in a ring of promises

that will celebrate our union

and help us find what was infront of us

but we have been missing

I will unite with her, one body, one soul

one time, forever

Because she is my woman

My strong beautiful woman



yet i write this as i wait

as I’m still searching

for my goddess to emerge

and find me

her real man

of true grit and courage

and i wait

with all my hope

for my strong beautiful woman

i am here and waiting

Strong beautiful woman

My girlfriend is in love with her ex

It’s simple, straightforward
My girlfriend is in love with her ex
I’m caught in this triangle
With Love, hate and neglect

She reminds me everyday
Without a word parting her lips
That she misses his presences
His gentle touch on her hips

I see her looking at old pictures
Reminiscing of their past
Then looking through my soul
Wondering if our shit will ever last

She reminds me everyday
That with him, she had it good
But why the fuck is she with me?
That the simple thing I never understood

She gazes out the window
And paranoia spins me a tale
I see him and her together
And imagination spares no details

She reminds me everyday
Without saying a single word
That she connected with him
Through an invisible umbilical cord

She still wears his necklace
The bow and cross heart, he gave her
And when she’s nervous or lying
She grabs that pendant to save her

She remind me of him
Even though he is in the past
But it’s like having a ghost
Haunt ever minute like it’s our last

She compares me to him
Silently in her mind on a constant basis
Wishing i’d be him, do the things he did
And not take her through emotional phases

She reminds me of him
When she says “Baby you’ve changed”
“I miss how you loved me
& why are you acting so estranged??”

She reminds me of him
& how things used to be between them
I just forget that back then
The old me used to be him

Prisoner

"Can you really ever get over some you loved??"- Sam.G.

Surrounded by four walls that contain me

I still want to win even though I have lost

Caught in this cycle of back on forth

I can’t explain the feeling of not knowing

How much pain, a love can cost



I never think twice

But I can’t seem to stop thinking of you

So I pedal backwards

Retreat in my steps, and erase you

I know I can’t move forward

If I keep looking back, at the rearview



I have to move on

Best now than later

But better late than never

But never late is better

because I’m still going to arrive

To that place where I got high

to balance out the lows

that you have caused



My competitive nature has altered its route

I am not a second option,

My option is to do right

If Pain is weakness leaving the body

So why don’t you just go away

I spent so many nights wishing

For tomorrow to be that day



I tell myself I don’t care for you

But when my mind attempts deception

My perceptions rats me out

Lays me bare in front of my insecurities

And has my emotions tie me down

I’m a prisoner of my own mind

A captive of your love



I fight these shackles off

That keep me in love with you

In love with the pain

In love with the same creature

That drove Adam Insane



He made a mistake

And betrayed who he is

for who his heart ached for

who am I to blame you for?

the things I cant stop myself to do

so, I say you hold me captive

but it’s me who can’t let go of you!

Bitch..... FUCK YOU!!

We've all dated hoes...*shrugs* - S.J.Gordon


It's always been about you yourself
And fucking you again
I was in a relationship with a hoe
I heard about them other men
You were nothing but a waste of time
Thought you were priceless
but bitch turned into a dime
Outa sight, outa mind
cause when I wasn’t round
She didn’t mind lending her behind
to any chauffer who’d offer this hoe a ride

Aint crying over your trifling ass
Im long gone
Moved on
Aint trying to get you back
but I got one fact
that I wont retract, because

You make we wanna say
Fuck you and all your twisted lies
you thought I couldn’t live without you,
Now you watch me fly
I haven’t said all my peace just yet
the last thing I wanna say to you
Is Bitch………..Fuck you, you piece of shit!

You told me that it’s only me
& Shit I felt the same
I know you well enough
Bitch to know that you were playing games
Fuck all those promises
Yes love let me down
Mama said never trust a trick
Should of listened now
I never knew what’s my issues
before it hits the stands
so I heard how you sucked that nigga
and played it like “Im ur man”
After all that we've bled through
I’ve come to say I hate you
or at least just pretend to
So Fuck You!

Aint crying over your trifling ass
Im long gone
Moved on
Aint trying to get you back
but I got one fact
that I wont retract, because

You make we wanna say
Fuck you and all your twisted lies
you thought I couldn’t live without you,
Now you watch me fly
I haven’t said all my peace just yet
the last thing I wanna say to you
Is Bitch………..Fuck you, you piece of shit!

I loved you like my religion

At some point of our life, we put so much into loving someone and end up heartbroken.....and to be honest...never were we the same again......We need to stop loving people like its OUR RELIGION!! - S. J Gordon...

I loved you like my religion
Saw salvation through your eyes
I felt THE greater power
Every time you were nearby

I prayed to God every Sunday
To bless me with a woman of faith
And you appeared, my angle
Worth every minute of my wait

I love you like my religion
I dreamed of our afterlife
I let Jesus seize the wheel
I left it all to father Christ

The answer to my prayers
Those eyes that made me confess
With you, I saw my heaven
A life of happiness and true bless

If only I knew you were the devil’s mirage
Captured my heart, and my love was crucified
Judas- that is you!
I’ve unveiled your disguise

I loved you like my religion
But you stuck a knife through my creeds
Heard my cries through the nights
Watched my soul slowly bleed

The Trinity you spoke of
Was you, the other guy and me
You’ve resurrected my holy ghost
Your love is blasphemy

I loved you like my religion
But you took away my faith
Bitch, I’m an Atheist now
Fuck religion, it’s a waste!

I hate you, but i love you

Oh how I hate you,
How I despise that I love you,
How I repulse from my own self when I'm stuck on you,
Oh how much I hate you!
Yet…
Somewhere amidst this loathing,
Somewhere amidst this rage,
I somehow find peace to breathe
To talk, to repent, to reminisce, to submit,
But…
I lose my breath…I suffocate,
When I realize that I am surrounded by you…
I lose my patience,
I lose my pride,
I want you out!
I want you out!
I want you out of my head!

And you smirk…
And I suffocate even more
As I realize that I am failing,
As I refuse that I am failing,
And I punch and kick and stab…
I fight!
I fight for a breath of my own breeze
Away from your paralyzing stench.
And I realize even more
How much I hate you,
And I scream,
I curse, I smash, I cry
And I….
I lose my breath,
I lose my breath again,
This time not out of love
This time I fall…
This time my body gives up on me…
And I hurt my soul physically,
This time I faint
This time I realize,
You let me down.

Yes, you did
But you can’t see it.
I'm rebelliously numb
But you can't hear it.
I'm loudly silent
You can’t feel it!
I'm angrily calm

Yes, even in my brittle weakness
I refuse to admit,
I refuse to submit,
I refuse to fail…
Because I hate you,
I despise it when I smile from the thought of you,
I repulse from my own self when I'm stuck on you,
But somehow I can't escape you,
And I know I'll have to once-again face you,
'Cause you always know your way back,
Despite the closed doors and windows
Despite the barriers and walls,
You come back…
And you are never the same!
Cause every time I fall for you…
Yes every time I fall for you…
You stretch my limits,
You experiment with me,
And we have the battles of our never-ending war…
Yet you never seem to get tired or even bored…
You enjoy my pain
Oh how you love me when I'm drained!
And though you know I come out of you even stronger
Oh how I hate you,
How I despise that I love you,
How I repulse from my own self when I'm stuck on you.

A hollow corpse, a wondering ghost…

I cry for you, I cry for us, I cry for me
Yet with every drop, I pierce and thrust that heart in me...
Yes with every drop, I curb and hush that heart in me..
And it hurts me too but I just look at you…
As it seems that all I do is numbly watch
While I secretly mourn… I secretly mourn
the future you are destorying infront of me...

What have I done to you?!
Nothing except give you tenderness, affection and warmth
& I want to run…
Away from you, from all the truth between your arms
Still I need your hug …
The hug of a woman clinching my heart
And I hug you…
Though it’s you who pricked my heart

I hug you for comfort while you’re the one who hurt me...
I hug you for comfort while thats what you took from me...
Well, regardless…

I look at you…and oh! How I hate the silence in your eyes,
I still look at you… cursing all those untold words inside,
And you hold me tight…despite the wounds, reality and lies.
Then you utter words …words of love that I deserve
'Cause I hate you then I like you then.. then I don't feel either …

I hate your peace, I hate your pace, I hate my doubts, I hate your embrace
I hate them all… still I shed my tears,
I hate them all… still I hear the truth in your heartbeats,
And I look at you...

Still I choose to secretly mourn
I mourn our togetherness...
I mourn our togetherness as I see
A hollow corpse, a wondering ghost…
Someone who’s dead but living anyway
And I can't help but wonder,
is it you or is it me?